I had been having such a hard time with Halloween this year because I should have been dressing another child in her cute costume and I should have carried in my little Macee in her cute costume. There was such an empty hole where she should be. It was heartbreaking and made me miss her even more than normal. I am learning that holidays and milestones seem to magnify that hole. It took everything in me to get to that party that day because I really just wanted to curl up in my bed and cry. I cried all the way there. And it didn't help that Travis had to be at a game. Thankfully Becky was somehow aware of this and did something special. She started the party by gathering us together and telling us that she does this party for her grandkids, but one of them couldn't come because she was in heaven. So when Becky announced that we would start the party with a balloon release for Macee, it made me cry. And it healed something in me. Just to hear Macee's name and have others recognize her little life and our loss, I was able to let go of some of the overwhelming sadness I was feeling. And after we released the balloons, I thought, "Okay, I can enjoy Halloween and this party now." And I did. I think sometimes I just need for others to recognize our missing family member and heartache. And then I can let go of it for a little bit. So, I was so grateful for Becky's love for Macee this day.
And it was a fun way to kick off Halloween. We played fun games and ate fun Halloween food. It is definitely one of our favorite parts of Halloween!
Balloons to Macee
Grandma and Grandpa with the grandkids
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